Derek and Clive – I Can’t Shit

From the album ‘Ad Nauseam‘ (1978).

Derek:
MmmmmMMMMmmMMMMMmmmMMM… (sings) #I love you so much
#I can’t shit (whistles tunelessly)
Clive:
#Boom-ba-de-boom-ba-de-boom
Derek:
#I c- (strains) love you so much I can’t (blows raspberry)…
Clive:
#Boom-ba-de-boom-ba-boom
Derek:
…shit-t-t-t-t-t-te-tum-te-tum
Clive:
#Dum-de-dum-de-dum-dee
Derek:
#There’s hope for me yet (small raspberry)
#I will do it, I bet (small raspberry)
Clive:
#Da-de-do-de-do
Derek:
#I love you darling
#Oh let me get my knickers down
#I-I-I-I love you so much
#I- (strains) can’t shit-t-t-t-t t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t
Clive:
#Do-do-do do-do-do you can dub over some violins.
Derek:
#I love you so much
#I can’t SHIT!!

Oh, f-f-fucking hell!

#I love you so much
#Ye-e-es-ss
#I’ve pains in the crutch

#I love you…

Derek and Clive:
#… so mu-u-u-uch
#I-I-I-I ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-an’t…
Clive:
#… shi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i–i-i-it!!!
Derek:
(blows enormous extended raspberry)
Clive:
You’re just saying that.
Derek:
I don’t love you any more.
(laughs)