Derek and Clive – T.V.

From the album ‘Ad Nauseam‘ (1978).

Clive:
D’you know, I’ll tell you something which really annoys me…
Derek:
Yes, tell me.
Clive:
…of which nobody tells the fucking truth about…
Derek:
Mmm, ye-e-ess, mmmm.
Clive:
…and that’s how much television affects people. I mean, peop-, kids, you know, elderly people, all that sort of type, they watch television and they get very influenced by it.
Derek:
Yeah.
Clive:
And I speak from personal, you know, personal knowledge.
Derek:
(belches out:) RIGHT YOU DO!
Clive:
I-, I was watching that ‘Holocaust’ thing, you know, where-, that story about, er,…
Derek:
(sniggers)
Clive:
…about Hitler and Him-
Derek:
Yeah, what a cunt he was!
Clive:
Well, he-, yeah…
Derek:
Ohhhhh, I didn’t want to know, he’s a cunt!
Clive:
He’s horrible.
Derek:
Yeah, fuckin’-, fucking…
Clive:
And he, you know, he formed this dislike of-, for some reason, probably psychological, for, er, the Jews.
Derek:
Yeah.
Clive:
And the story was on Holocaust how, er, you know, they all got wiped out and, er,…
Derek:
Mm.
Clive:
…put in gas ovens and stuff like that. And I was very influenced by that ’cause, er, Michael Moriaty was very good as that, er, Nazi.
Derek:
Mmm.
Clive:
And, as soon as I switched off the third episode I, er, got on, er, got on a number 18…
Derek:
Mmm.
Clive:
…and got up to Golders Green and I must have-, I must have slaughtered about eighteen thousand before I realised, you know, what I was doing…
Derek:
Mmm.
Clive:
…I thought, ‘the fucking television has driven me to this’.
Derek:
Yeah, mmm.
Clive:
Same thing happened with, er, you remember ‘Andy Pandy’?
Derek:
Yeah.
Clive:
He used to come on. As soon as that was on I used to get in a glove. I used to jump in a glove and rush down the road and, you know, the power it has over people.
Derek:
Mmm.