Momus – Eleven Executioners

From the album ‘Monsters Of Love (Singles 1985-90)‘ (1990).


Eleven top hats
In the club vestibule
Eleven gentlemen’s cloaks
Hanging up by the black swimming pool
Eleven gentlemen dancing
Each in a style of his own
One is discreetly conversing
On a cordless telephone

And the first he kills only the wicked
And the second kills only the good
And the third he kills people more handsome than him
And the fourth kills the misunderstood
And the fifth kills the women who’ve loved him
And the sixth kills the couldn’t-care-less
The seventh kills people who fill questionnaires in
The eighth kills the deeply depressed
And the ninth kills the twentieth century
And the tenth waits to kill you and me
The eleventh kills only our fear of the tenth
The best executioner he

At some ungodly hour in the morning
The predictable quarrels begin
The first gentleman without warning
Slugs the second one square on the chin
And the third says the fourth is too ugly
And the fifth warns the sixth not to start
And the seventh stops dead in his telephone call
A stiletto has punctured his heart
And the eighth is sick in the cistern
And the floodwaters fuse all the lights
And the ninth drops his copy of ‘Jane’s Defence Systems’ on the floor
In an act of sheer spite
And the tenth drums his fingers and swings his feet
Because somebody’s stolen his scythe
‘Til an expert in brinksmanship brings him complete
A medium range nuclear device

And now chairs will be placed on the dance floor
And now lights will be trained on the bar
And a puppet will sing a morality
As an idiot strums a guitar

While the gentlemen sit with erections
You perform in a transparent skirt
A climax without satisfaction
And a murder in which you’re not hurt

And me, I sit where the gentlemen sit
And we love you
And we love you
Yes we love you
I assure you we do

La la-la-la la la-la-la… Plainy!
La la-la-la la la-la-la… Clappy!
La la-la-la la la-la-la… Rolly!
La la-la-la la la-la-la… Backy!
Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum… Left Hand!
Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum… Right!
Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum… Touch your heel!
Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum… Touch your toe!
Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum… Touch the ground!
Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum… Big Burlio!
Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum… Plainy!
Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum… Clappy!
Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum… Rolly!
Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum… Backy!
Rattle tum a gypsum gypsum…

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