Momus – Tinnitus

From the album ‘Stars Forever‘ (1999).


When Disney came to Scotland
Shooting ‘Pixel Claymores’
I wanted the role of the rotten
Villain Rob McMurdo

But Tinnitus auditioned first
Some weird DJ from Boston
He’s from WZBC
And he doesn’t look much like a Scotsman

The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker
The weaver, the cheever, the bastard
Damn it and blast ’em, they said they had cast them
And swept me under the carpet

Tinnitus replied in a synthesised voice
When I dared him to fight me at Tekken
The clash of our claymores rang through the glens
And on 90.3 FM

And was it for real or was it a dream
When I buried my steel in his belly?
Tinnitus fell, the director yelled
‘Cut!’ then they put it on telly

The Campbells are coming, I’m long in the tooth
Was it because my hair is all gone?
I sit on the set in a sporran and kilt
My name is Winterblossom

Gall and wormwood under my tongue
Bonnie Prince Charlie’s an arsehole
My friends are dead, it’s cold and wet
My name is Rob McMurdo

I’ll no be taken for granted
And I’ll no be turned away
I’ll be back!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

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