Momus – karaoke parody competition winners: New Flame, Same Old Story performed by Christian Carl

From the album ‘Stars Forever‘ (1999).


I went with my new flame
To the city zoo
To watch the animals
Shit and screw

I said ‘Look at the turtles
Fucking like rabbits’
She called me a perve
So I squeezed her tit

She slapped my face and said
‘Take me home!’
When I dropped her off

She said ‘Please don’t phone!’

She said not to call
So I typed her a letter
I can’t speak for her
But it made me feel better

Hippos shit on hippos
They respect
So when I shit on you
Take it like a hippo

Apes pick at apes
They admire
So when I pick at you
Baby I’m full of desire

If you were a hippo
Or an ape
You’d be the perfect
The perfect mate

Instead you’re a person
A sore tit you’re nursing
’cause you just can’t

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